Personal reflection written in November of 1947

I. Virtues of the man of action

It is necessary to arrive at total loyalty. To absolute transparency, to live in such a way that nothing in my conduct might rebuff the inquiry of men, that all might be open to inspection. A conscience that aspires to such rectitude feels within itself the least deviation and deplores it: it focuses within itself, humbles itself and finds peace.

I must always consider myself a servant of a great work. And because my role is that of a servant, I will not reject the humblest tasks, modest tasks in administration, even the cleaning… Many aspire to have quiet time to think, read, prepare great things, but there are tasks that all reject, may these be my preferences. Everything must be accomplished if the great work is to be realized. The important thing is to do it with great love. Our actions receive their value in proportion to the love we put into them.

Humility consists in inserting yourself in your true place. Before men: not by considering myself the least among them, because I do not believe this; before God: by recognizing continually my absolute dependence with respect to Him, and that any superiority I might have in the sight of others comes from Him.

To put myself in complete availability before God’s plan, before the work that must be realized. My attitude before God is not that of disappearing but of offering myself totally in full collaboration.

Humility then is to put yourself where you belong, to take your true place, to recognize yourself as intelligent, virtuous and as capable as you believe yourself to be; to be aware of the superior advantages that you believe yourself to have but, at the same time, knowing well your absolute dependence upon God and that all that you have received is for the common good. That is the great principle: All superior characteristics or advantages are given for the common good (St. Thomas).

It is not I who count but the work. Do not crush yourself. Walk at God’s pace. Don’t try to run ahead of Him. I must unite my will with the will of God. Lose myself in Him. Everything that I add that is purely mine is unnecessary; rather, it is nothing. Do not look for recognition but be happy and thankful for any that comes. Do not belittle yourself in the face of failure, look to what remains to be done and know that tomorrow will bring another blow, and do all of this with joy.

Munificence, magnificence, magnanimity, three words almost unknown in our times. Munificence and magnificence do not fear the cost of realizing something grand and beautiful. They do not think in terms of investing and filling the pockets of their supporters. The magnanimous person thinks and acts in a way worthy of humanity: he does not belittle himself. They are so needed today because in the modern world everything is linked. He who does not think big, in terms of all men, is already lost. Some will tell you: Careful with that pride!… why think in such a big way? But there is no danger: the greater the task, the smaller one feels. Better to have the humility to begin great tasks with the danger of failing, than to reduce one’s goal out of pride in order to guarantee success.

The glory and reward of the militant in the great combat that liberates: to exceed, to always go beyond oneself in love… Success? Leave it in God’s hands!

II. The Sins of a man of action

To believe oneself indispensable to God. To not pray enough. To lose contact with God. To move ahead too fast. To want to go faster than God wishes. To make a pact, even lightly, with evil in order to be successful.

To give oneself by halves. Prefer oneself to the Church. Esteem oneself more than the work that is to be done, or seek oneself in one’s actions. To work for oneself. To look for one’s own glory. To take pride in oneself. To let oneself be disheartened by failure. It may be nothing more than to become gloomy in the face of difficulties.

To undertake too much - bite off more than you can chew. To cede to one’s natural impulses to thoughtless and arrogant hastiness. To cease to control oneself. To distance oneself from one’s principles.

To work in defense of self or as an excuse and not for love. To make a business of the apostolate, though it is spiritual.

To fail to make the effort to have the widest possible vision. To fail to take distance to be able to see the whole. To fail to take into account the context of the problem.

To work without method. To improvise on principle. To fail to look ahead, to foresee. To fail to complete or finish a task.

To rationalize in excess. To hesitate or drown in details. To always want to be right. To be in charge of everything. To fail to be disciplined.

To avoid small tasks. To sacrifice another for my plans. To fail to respect others, not allowing for initiative, failing to give others responsibility. To be harsh with associates and their bosses.

To despise the little ones, the humble and the less gifted. To be ungrateful.

To be sectarian. To fail to be hospitable. To fail to love one’s enemies.

To see all those who oppose me as though they were my enemies. To fail to accept opposition with enthusiasm. To be destructive because of an unjust or vain criticism.

To be habitually sad or in bad humor. To let oneself be overcome by concerns about money.

To fail to sleep or eat sufficiently. To fail to take care of one’s strength and physical well being because of imprudence and without good reason.

To let oneself take compensations in laziness, day dreaming, sentimentality. To fail to take time out for periods of tranquility, daily, weekly, Yearly…