Retreat meditation on apostolic generosity

1. The apostle does not belong to himself

“You are not your own” (cf. 1 Cor 6,19-20). The apostle no longer belongs to himself. He has sold himself, he has surrendered himself to his Master. He lives for him, works for him suffers for him. The Master’s viewpoint becomes what is important. My own concerns, my interests give place to those of the Master.

What work should be chosen? Not what personal taste, caprice, utility or comfort indicate, but rather that which serves best. The most urgent, the most useful, most worthy of consideration, the most universal service. That of the Master.

With what attitude? One works just as much if it pleases or displeases either oneself or others. This is done in the service of His Majesty. It must continue, extend itself, abandon itself but not for human ambition, the need for action or for the conquest of influence, but rather because the work belongs to the Master. Do what He would do.

Everything is subordinated to this work, including health, spiritual joy, repose and triumph. According to St. Paul: “I am hemmed in on both sides. I long to have done with it and be with Christ, a better thing by far; and yet for your sakes that I should wait in the body is more urgent still. I am certain of that and I do not doubt that I shall wait upon you all” (Phil 1,23).

It is a work of love not that of a slave. One does not complain but rather is overjoyed to give oneself, as the mother does for her sick child. It is a total gift to the work of the Master which is embraced with love in such a way that not sacrificing oneself becomes a greater sacrifice: Love one’s pain.

II. Apostolic peace

The world manages to give us peace through the absence of all perceptible evils and the merging of all pleasure. The peace that Jesus promised to his disciples is different. It is founded not in the absence of all suffering, all concern, but in the absence of all internal division; it is based on the unity of our attitude toward God, toward ourselves and toward others.

This is peace in work - without rest. My Father works until now and I work (cf. Jn 5,17). The true work of God which consists in giving life and in conserving it, drawing each being toward its own greatest good does not cease nor can it cease. In that way those who truly are associated with the divine work can never rest because nothing in this work is slavish nor base. An apostle works when he sleeps, when he rests, when he distracts himself… All of this is holy, is apostolic, is collaboration with the divine plan.

Christian peace is founded on this unification of all our potential for work and struggle, of all our desires and ambitions… If a person at the beginning is unified in this way and, little by little practices this unification, such a person has peace.

III. The zeal of Paul

The apostle is a martyr or he remains sterile. When preaching on zeal, self sacrifice and heroism, endeavor to make them understood as Christian virtues, born from the example and doctrine of Christ. The zeal for souls is an ardent passion. It is based on love; it is its aggressive conquering aspect and when it touches the loved one, it touches him as well. In just this way Paul says: I am crucified with Christ (Gal 2, 19). He becomes furious in what concerns the faith of his Galatians… because he is identified with Christ: therefore to touch this faith is to touch him. “I no longer live not I but Christ lives in me. Or if I still live in the flesh, I live in the faith of the Son of God who loved me and gave himself up for me.” (Gal 2,20). You do not touch Christ without passing through Paul.

He tells the Philippians that he does not care if others preach Christ though they do so out of envy for him. What is of importance to him is that Christ be glorified (Phil 1, 15-18). The only thing he will not tolerate is that Christ be affected in any way: “For me to live is Christ, to die is gain” (Phil 1,21). Nothing else matters to him, total lack of self interest: “What is my reward? Just this, that in preaching the gospel I may offer it free of charge and so not make use of my rights in preaching it. I make myself a slave of everyone to win as many as possible” (cf. 1 Cor 9,18-19)

In acting we ourselves do not have to be the final intention: neither esteem ourselves nor make ourselves servile; neither should we inflate ourselves, nor put ourselves between God, our Lord Jesus Christ and souls, or want to force them to go through us, to keep them with us, even though we have been for a time useful, indispensable, even providential for them… Nor work to please men (cf. Gal 10); but in this we must not be over scrupulous… but rather purify our intention: “Whom have I in heaven but you? And being with you I desire nothing on earth” (Ps 72, 25). Do with pleasure what gives me little or no pleasure ..

Well then, am I a slave? Yes, but a slave of Christ. And this is the greatest good and the greatest sweetness of our life. But you must have a vocation for this: “A stumbling block to Jews and foolishness to Gentiles, but to those whom God has called, both Jews and Greeks, Christ the power of God and the wisdom of God.” (1Cor 1,23-24).-